As Buchbesprechung brought to my attention, some authors have pondered what would be if Twilight had been written by a skilled and famous author. Find some great ideas on Lizzie Starks Blog.

Here is my go:
Goethe a la The Sorrows of Young Werther:

Edward is in love with Lady Bella, who is married to the noble man Jacob. Jacob is often out of town with his “wolfpack”, that’s how Edwards secretly calls them, because they are all way to proud of their royal blood. In the meantime Edward accompanies Bella throughout most of the day.

They spend their time reading books and playing with Bella’s daughter Ellesmera, who is a very smart little girl. When Edward is at home, he ponders a lot about the “other” family, how he wishes Ellesmera was his child, how he wants to dive his lips into Bella’s bosom and how he pictures himself as a much better father than the dull Jacob.

Secretly, Bella has feelings for Edward too, but there is no way she could leave the house of Jacob, especially since they have a daughter together. She covers her sorrow with fake laughs but unfortunately it also results in her absence from social events, so that she becomes somewhat of an outsider.

Edward spends more and more time in his little study from where he can look into Bella’s house, particularly the upper window where Bella’s bedroom lies. He fantasizes more and more, writing down every single thought into his diary, every little detail of Bella and their experiences together. He starts to think he is the only one that can how beautuiful she is, what qualities she really possesses, which makes him somewhat of an ubermensch in his own eyes. The loneliness finally drives him crazy and he has flashes of drinking Bella’s blood. He becomes so afraid of hurting her that he kills himself, leaving a poem for Bella which ends in:

“no longer do I request your love,
will look down on your from above
and whisper to your ear,
with every leaf that’s near.”


  1. KarenG said...
    LOL "Twilight written by a skilled author"-- it would have been awesome, that's what. Instead, it's just a piece of pop fiction that people will look back on decades later and wonder what the fuss was about.
    Nahno McLein said...
    Interesting point, what will future generations think of twilight - maybe not much at all.
    Harry Potter is the way to go.
    The Golden Eagle said...
    It definitely would have been a different book if a famous author had written it . . .
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    If 'freedom lies in being bold' (Robert Frost), doesn't pushing-the-envelope also result in the Elysian Fields of Utopia? If I'm the sower, we plant the Seed; if I'm an artist, we RITE the symphonies heard Upstairs ☆IF☆ we accept His lead withe orchestra...

    Wanna find-out the fax, Jak, in a wurld fulla the 'power of cowards'? Wanna wiseabove to help a 'Plethora Of Wurdz' [POW!] which are look'n for a new home in thy novelty?? Yay!

    Q: But [gulp] can anyone tell me the difference between K2/IQ? A: Nthn. In Heaven, we gitt'm both for eternity HA! Need a few more thots, ideers, wild wurdz (whoa, Nelly! easy, girl!) or ironclad iconoclasms?

    VERBUM SAT SAPIENTI (Latin: words to [the] wise): As an ex-writer of the sassy, savvy, schizophenia we all go thro in this lifelong demise, I just wanna help U.S. git past the ping-pong-politixx, the whorizontal more!ass! we're in and wiseabove to 'in fine sine fine' (Latin: in [the] End without End -Saint Augustine).

    "This finite existence is only a test, son," God Almighty told me in my coma. "Far beyond thy earthly tempest is where you'll find tangible, corpulent eloquence". Lemme tella youse without d'New Joisey accent...

    I actually saw Seventh-Heaven when we died: you couldn't GET!! any moe curly, party-hardy-endorphins, low-hanging-fruit of the Celestial Paradise, extravagantly-surplus-lush Upstairs (awww! baby kitties, too!!) when my o-so-beautifull, brilliant, bombastic girly passed-away due to those wry, sardonic satires...

    "Those who are wise will shine as brightly as the expanse of the Heavens, and those who have instructed many in uprightousness as bright as stars for all eternity" -Daniel 12:3, NJB

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    Go gitt'm, guy. You're incredible. You're indelible. Cya Upstairs. I won't be joining'm in the nasty Abyss where Isis prowls
    Revelation 14:13
    PS Need summore unique, uncivilized, useless names?? Lemme gonna gitcha started, brudda:

    Oak Woods, Franky Sparks, Athena Noble, Autumn Rose, Faith Bishop, Dolly Martin, Willow Rhodes, Cocoa Major, Roman Stone, Bullwark Burnhart, Magnus Wilde, Kardiak Arrest, Will Wright, Goldy Silvers, Penelope Summers, Sophie Sharp, Violet Snow, Lizzy Roach, BoxxaRoxx, Aunty Dotey, Romero Stark, Zacharia Neptoon, Mercurio Morrissey, Fritz & Felix Franz, Victor Payne, Isabella Silverstein, Mercedes Kennedy, Redd Rust, Phoenix Martini, Ivy Squire, Sauer Wolfe, Yankee Cooky, blessed b9... (or mixNmatch)

    God blessa youse
    -Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL

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