I planned to give you my Mozzarella poem on this week's special Sunday post, but I just stumbled across Christine's blog and her Blogfest. Now I'd like to share my experience with editing instead.
Most contestants have submitted prose writing, but I found the editing of this particular poem very insightful. Some may have read this poem before on this blog, but the new version is a first on here.
This is the old poem:
See, the new one is not bound by the generic conventions of the strict form. With free verse, I could increase the speed and make the rhymes less predictable. The short lines also contribute to rhythm and especially in the end convey the hopeful look into the future.
Same as in prose, cutting the unnecessary is important in poetry, as well as showing what is happening. I tried to do that in both poems, but I think the second one is clearer.
Thank you for the challenge, Christine.
PS: A little advice: Write first, edit later. Leaving the poem for a few months has helped me create some distance and an objective view.